Friday, October 14, 2011

.....Looking back..... Jumping forward

   July 12, 2009; an evening I will never forget.  My husband and I hadn't been in bed very long before we received a phone call from my Mother-n-Law, telling my husband he needed to get to her home as soon as possible.  His father had been battling Lung Cancer since October 2008.  After Mike jumped out of bed, got dressed and ran out the door telling me not to worry about coming so I could get some sleep before work the next day.  I was so shaken that I called my Mother-n-Law to make sure it was nothing too serious at which time she told me "Mike Sr was dead".  I immediately called Mike to get him back home, I wanted to be there for him.  And I figured he probably shouldn't be driving.  So after much resistance Mike turned around to come get me but I didn't tell him that his father had died for that is not something I would want him to know while he was driving.  Before I knew it he was speeding down our drive-way and I knew in that moment that he knew.  Just so happens his sister who lives out of state called his cell phone and told him that their father had died.  I mean really....why would you tell someone their father is dead while they are driving!?!?!?  Made me so I made Mike get in the passenger seat and drove him to his parents home.  In all my 24 years I had seen plenty of dead bodies in caskets; in funeral homes...this was the first time I walked into the home where the deceased was still where they died.  Mike Sr died in his bed and looked so peaceful....especially compared to how he looked in the casket in the funeral....he didn't look like Mike Sr to me.  That was one of the hardest times in my life.

 ....................Looking back
Mike and I had been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half.  We had been to ob-gyns, endocrinologists and a fertility specialist.  We tried fertility drugs and I had Laparoscopic surgery where they found that not only did I have PCOS but I have Endometriosis.  They said the only way they believed I would be able to conceive would be by Artificial Insemination.  So we had an appointment set for July 14, 2009 to discuss making an appointment for the AI.  So obviously the appointment was canceled due to the death of my Father-n-Law.

...................Jumping forward
Two weeks later on July 26, 2009 I decided to take a pregnancy test because my monthly visitor was once again late.  I hated these tests because they made me so depressed, they never ceased to give me a dreaded negative result.  Well not this was positive!!!  Finally after a year and a half of dreaded tests, drugs, surgery and lots of tears, I was finally going to get my baby!!! 
    In the wake of so much tragedy for our family we had the best news that we had merely dreamt about for the past year and a half. Just two weeks after my Father-n-Law passed I was finally pregnant.  I now know that I conceived Gregory in the week that my Father-n-Law passed, so I believe it was fate.  I remember him telling me while he was fighting cancer that he couldn't die for a long time because he had to be here to watch our kids grow.

......................On to the project
After finding out that we were expecting a beautiful baby boy we wanted to take our awesome news to Mike's dad.  So I crafted my first bow.  The blue ribbon purchased at Walmart which I cut down to size. (This is the same ribbon that I also am using at this time in Gregory's nursery as curtain ties!)  I tied the bow tight and then wrapped a section around the middle loosely securing it with a few staples.  The words were brush on that I purchased also at Walmart.  (I'm sure you are seeing a trend, we do have other stores I just love Walmart...sorry!)  It's not the best and I still have so much improvement to be made when it comes to bows and plan to get some practice in soon with my cousin who is awesome at bows!  This bow was made especially for us to place in announcement to Mike Sr, that he was going to be a Pawpaw again to another Boy....Michael's boy!
I apologize for the doom and gloom of this post, I promise not to make this a habit but this is a huge part of my life; the loss of my husbands beloved father followed by the conception of my husbands son making him a father and me a momma!

Inspired by Mike Sr


  1. Awe, Steph. This is such a touching post and the ribbon is beautiful. I took that it's fate. I feel the same way about Caden. My great grandma passed away and the day we went to lay her to rest on top of a hill in the country. I asked her to send me a baby. I found out I was pregnant on her birthday, the following year. :)

  2. Hello, my name is Suzanne at WhyCuzICan. I found your blog because next week you are going to join the newbie linky party at Bunny Jean's Bunny Hop (you just posted a comment there so I am peeking at your blog- but you deleted your comment -wondering why).

    Very touching post here. Congrats on your news of a baby, sad to hear about your father in law. I can relate to the cancer though. My husband of 14 years is battling stage 4 kidney cancer and has been for 4 years, 4 months now.

    God Bless you all,

  3. Hello Suzanne, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I cannot imagine what you are going through, I don't know what I would do. My FIL lived just 9 months after we found out he had cancer, we were definitely hoping for more time. But I believe he sent us an angel. I like to think in my mind that Mike Sr gave his own life so that Michael and I could have our baby boy!
    As far as the comment, I put it back. I messed up and tried to fix it. I'm a newbie! :)

  4. Steph, if you need help figuring out how to link up at parties, email me directly, I'll be glad to help: whycuzican (at) gmail (dot) com

    Smiles, and thanks again for sharing,
    We thank our Father DAILY for the gift of time and what appears to be "decent" health for hubby, even though he has chemo 3 days a week, he still looks great and even has ALLLL of his hair (but it's silver now, not black like when we started)

    God Bless,

  5. I may need your help come next Wednesday. Kind of another reason I wanted to give myself the week before trying to link up to a party so I can learn a little more before then. I have a friend who has been helping me a long my way too.

    All we can do is pray and have hope. Every day that any of us are given is a gift!

  6. Amen, yes life is a gift!

    Help you any time you want, just email me! You'll do fine, trust me!

    Smiles, Suzanne